Well, I took a bit of a hiatus to lick my wounds after losing my fantasy football championship game in stunning fashion. I could have started my frickin’ cat at QB and come away with the same amount of points.
I’m over it though. I mean, how could anyone stay mad at this face?
Right?
Anyway, I’m back, it’s 2015, and the best TV weekend of the year kicks off in Charlotte this afternoon!
With only four days left until my due date, this may also be the last weekend for 20 or more years that I get to just kick back and watch football with my husband, just the two of us. Though there’s still no sign of baby, we’ve been saying since May that this kid has been a confident Pats fan since conception, being due during the bye week, and I’m so thrilled that that has come true!
I also plan to take full advantage of my last days as a giant pregnant lady and shamelessly eat all.the.food. that crosses my path while watching these games.
But moving on to the important stuff: my picks. I’m going with all four home teams. Maybe it sounds like a cop out or a noob move, but home field advantage actually has very little to do with why I’m picking these four.
In the NFC:
Despite their shitty record, the Panthers have been on a roll, while the Cards have been…the opposite. I mean, at one point my husband was trying to decide if he should hop a plan to Arizona to see if he could be next in line to play QB for them. Hell, they might even be willing to let the aforementioned cat take a few snaps. Would I be shocked if the Cardinals won? No, but I think the odds are against them. It’s a shame because I strongly dislike the Panthers (mostly because I can’t stand Cam Newton’s arrogant ass) and would love to see the boys in red pull this one out. I don’t think either of these teams is NFC championship bound regardless so I’m not going to cry over it if I’m wrong or anything.
Like the Panthers, the Cowboys too have been on a roll, and overall I think may just be a better team than the Lions. It’s weird, because on paper the Lions have all the tickets and many standout players. What it comes down to is that I have very little confidence in Matthew Stafford’s ability to put in 60 quality minutes. He gets flustered too easily and makes costly mistakes. Romo can have similar tendencies at times, but he is older and wiser and I think less likely to flounder during this game.
In the AFC:
The winner of Ravens vs. Steelers is the one I’m least sure about, particularly now that Le’veon Bell is sidelined. So I guess for this one, I’m picking with my heart and hoping to GOD that the Steelers win because there is no team that I loathe more than the Ravens, and frankly I fear them coming to Foxborough. In the last 5 years they have been here 3 times for the playoffs, won 2 of those games, and only lost the third one by an unfortunately-timed display of mediocrity by Billy “Wide Left” Cundiff.
Thus, I would very much appreciate it if the Steelers could simply take care of business and send the evil birds back to shitty Baltimore where they belong.
The Bengals-Colts game is equally as likely to be awesome as it is to be a blowout. These teams are like some sort of warped inverse of each other. The Colts lack the weapons as well as the synergy necessary to go all the way this year, but at the helm they have Andrew Luck, who has proven that he has the skill and derring-do to pull off spectacular wins from behind. Meanwhile, the Bengals have some damn good players, but they are completely handcuffed by Andy Dalton and his inability to step up in important or primetime matchups. It’s a little sad because I like Dalton, but he’s such a chronically predictable choke artist that I can’t see the Bengals being able to walk away from this with a win. Bottom line: It’ll be fine by me, assuming the Ravens do their job and lose, if either of these teams comes to Foxborough next weekend.
The playoffs are here–enjoy!!!
Pats the Bunny 